Friday, February 16, 2024

14 just hits different

Bodie turned 14 today! 

    And in true fashion with the change we've seen in him in the past year, he just wanted to have his best buddies over, eat Panda Express...and GAME, GAME and GAME some more. They gamed last night, then jumped in the jacuzzi, slept in the trailer and woke up this morning to game some more. Then everyone went home to hop on their own systems - and continue gaming. 

For a newly minted 14 year old, it couldn't have been a more perfect birthday. 
Complete with the weirdest cake I have done for him yet. 
Apparently, the guy's name is Thicc Omni-Man?

All I know is, I've never before taken orders for "left butt cheek," "right butt cheek," "just the head" and "the feet, please!" before. I'm not gonna lie, the way I had to cut the cake to accommodate everyone's body part preference really did a number on my OCD. 
Because, really, no cake should ever be cut like this!
We are so grateful for this little dude, for his hilarious sense of humor, for his over the top sense of melodrama, for his silliness, and for the unique and special kiddo that he is. In the past year, he's started to pull away from us a bit, looking to figure things out on his own (and realizing that he REALLY doesn't like school, but that's a whole nother Oprah that we won't go into here).  As his mom, it makes me sad to be spending less time with him (I think there was a part of me that thought he and I would always be really close). But I know it's a natural part of growing up and for that I am so grateful!

When I think back on everything I prayed and wished for Bodie when he was in the hospital as an infant, I prayed for health, for strength, for happiness. And in those prayers, I never would have been so bold to ask for the absolute perfect group of friends to walk alongside him as he moves into his teen years. But God has provided for Bodie so completely, with the sweetest group of friends that we've dubbed "The Quad Squad." Three of the four are pictured in these pictures. They go to school together, do sports together, go to youth group together - they just do life together. (And their moms are my best friends!). As Chase said today when I was driving him home "You know, whenever the four of us are together in person, it's just like total happiness!" And he's right. 

I can think of no better people to help Bodie reign in his 14th year with. 

Happy 14th Birthday, Bodie! We love you!!!

Tuesday, February 28, 2023


This brave, smart, empathetic, hilarious dude turned 13 earlier this month.

And I can't even wrap my mind around it.

I think it's surreal for any parent to watch their child grow up. 
I see it with Sierra.
You wonder how your sweet, perfect little baby is becoming their own person.

But it's just so much more complicated with a medically fragile child.
When your history together runs so deep
When you've seen your 7 pound baby be placed on a ventilator
When you've had conversations with doctors about your 2 month old child not making it to his next surgery, and likely not thriving even if he does
When you've spent months in the hospital at your infant's bedside 
When you've begged your toddler to keep fighting through one more night, one more surgery, one more hurdle
When you've held your preschooler down for countless procedures and blood draws
When you've cried out to God from surgical waiting rooms, begging him to bring your 7 year son out of another surgery
When you've watched your pre-teen's body struggle to keep up with his friends on the basketball court, his brain struggle in the classroom, and his heart struggle at the sleepover...

You put your walls up.
You don't dare to dream past the current moment.
You don't let yourself expect the walking, and talking, and going to school, and driving a car, and graduating from high school and college, and getting married and starting a family.
It's just too much to hope for all of that.
You protect your heart.

Instead you live day to day, milestone to milestone.

And here's the cool thing.
When you don't let yourself expect the milestones, and then you hit them, it's really freaking cool. 
So when Bodie got his braces put on last month
And then turned 13 this month

I was hit with ALL THE FEELS.

I may have been a hot mess.
But in the best possible way.
Because this kid is amazing.
We are so stinking proud of this kid.
For who he is.
For what he's overcome.
For what he still has ahead of him.

Today, Bodie loves animals, gaming with the most incredible group of friends any mom could ever ask for, and playing horror movies. 
Probably not in that order. 
Because he's 13.

Did I mention that he's 13?

Happy 13th birthday, Bodie.
Here's to many, many, many more!

Friday, July 1, 2022

A different type of Independence

As the rest of Los Angeles appears to be exiting the city for the holiday weekend, we get to join them!!! Bodie was discharged late this afternoon and we are headed home (right after we stop by an awesome Stranger Things watch party Sierra and her best friend have been working on all week!).

We're so grateful to have this cath behind us! We've known it was coming for some time, and it weighed heavy on me. So to have it past us is such a weight lifted off my shoulders! 

We have several friends who Fontanned the same summer as Bodie who are also heading in for their Fontan tune-ups this summer. About that, Bodie says "then I won't tell them it was the worst thing ever!" Hahahahaha Bodie doesn't sugarcoat, that's for sure!

As we're celebrating our newfound freedom with no planned interventions on the near horizon, we're taking a deep breath and enjoying life! Figured it was appropriate to close with a pic of Bodie with one of our favorite nurses, Nikki.
Today Nikki helped us get discharged and on our way (pretty sure we'd still be there if she hadn't stepped in to help). But once upon a time, Nikki helped a new heart mom find her voice and learn to advocate for her very sick son. And he is alive today because of it. For that, I will be forever unspeakably grateful. 

Thank you so much for all your prayers- please keep them coming as Bodie continues recovering over the next few days! We're so grateful for it! 

Thursday, June 30, 2022

I love water!

Well, Bodie is finally in recovery after what felt like the world's longest cath (I mean, they estimated 3 hours, and it ended up being closer to 6!). He's doing well, but very, very tired. We're so grateful for your prayers to get him (and us!) through today!
When I first saw him, I leaned down and told him "I love, I love, I love you so much and I'm so grateful you're back!" He cleared his throat and groggily replied with "I love water." 

Oh, how I love this kid and his ability to deliver comedic relief when I need it most. 

They ended up doing several interventions today (if you're not a heart mom or in the medical field and your eyes are starting to gloss over, just skip this paragraph!). They stented his Left Pulmonary Artery. During his last cath 6 years ago, they had put in 2 stents in his narrowing LPA. Over the last 6 years as he has grown, those two stents have grown apart. So they put in a larger stent across both of the existing stents. So his LPA is now nice and wide. They also stented his Fontan conduit, which was wide at the bottom, but had narrowed in a couple of places further up. They also coiled one collateral and ballooned a part of his SVC that had slightly narrowed. His Fontan pressures are on the high side at 15, but are exactly where they have been the last 2 caths, so we're happy they haven't climbed at least. It's possible some of the interventions today may help bring those pressures down, but it's not any sort of guaranteed outcome. Additionally, his pressures were a bit mismatched between his aorta and ventricle, which <can> sometimes cause Fontan pressures to go up. So they spent quite a bit of time testing out different pacemaker settings to see if any adjustments would cause the Fontan pressures to change (spoiler alert - none of them did). 

The long and short of it is that all of these interventions for the most part were to be expected. They're all part of the Fontan roadmap many centers are now following, sort of like your 60,000 mile tuneup on your car. We're hopeful that some of these interventions may actually help him have more energy too. For the most part he's felt ok, but then he's used to feeling not quite 100%, so we'd love for this to help him feel even better.

We are so incredibly lucky Bodie is alive in a time where they are learning so much about the downfalls of the Fontan and are proactively monitoring and adjusting things to get these single ventricle hearts (and bodies!) to work with the Fontan anatomy as long as possible.

Bodie is currently having some arythmias they're monitoring and is still in the post-op recovery unit. He should be moved shortly to the step down unit upstairs. Hopefully, he'll just be monitored overnight and we'll be headed home tomorrow. Please pray that happens! 


Cath Update #2

We just heard from the cath nurse and Bodie is doing great. They're done with all of the diagnostics and were able to get all the images and measurements they needed. They coiled some collaterals (veins that form to divert blood in response to the Fontan circulation - not unexpected in Fontans, but he hasn't had the issue in the past, so we were hopeful we'd avoid it this time as well) and are currently putting another stent in his left pulmonary artery. Again, not unexpected, but we were hoping to avoid that as well.

Please keep praying for Bodie and the medical team! 


Cath Update #1

We just heard from the cath lab nurse, who says Bodie is doing great. They're still taking pictures and measurements. After that, they'll move onto interventions as needed. So still a ways to go. But we'll take any positive news we can get!

I'll leave you with this pic of Dusk and Bodie at the Funko Pop store last night. 
One of Bodie's favorite places - if you're in LA and you (or you kiddo) love Funko Pops, you have to check this store out. It's SO fun!

Cath is underway

They took Bodie back about a half an hour ago. He didn't seem too nervous, although it is always interesting to watch as his coping mechanisms change over the years (his latest is that he won't make eye contact with anyone when he's here - his eyes jump all over the place like he's looking for a trap door to escape - pretty sure the doctors here all think the kid can't carry on a conversation, which is hilarious since the kid NEVER stops talking at home - ha!). 

But he was ready, and spent most of the time in pre-op talking to me about his plans for Panda Express later today. :-)

Dusk and I both got to spend some time with him, and he got to Facetime with Sierra for a bit. And he was pretty excited they let him play Robolox on his laptop all the way to the cath room door. We're so grateful for modern technology!

Please pray for our sweet boy!

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

Not Our First Rodeo

This is apparently the year of tune-ups for our guys. After my last blogpost, both Bodie's and Dusk's pacemaker replacements went great, thankfully! We jumped back into the hustle and bustle of Spring Break and finishing the school year strong for both kiddos. Then we spent a glorious eight days basking the Florida sun, relaxing and enjoying my parent's 55th wedding anniversary.
And now we find ourselves yet again on the eve of a surgical procedure. Bodie has a cardiac catheterization and liver biopsy scheduled tomorrow morning at CHLA. 

This makes Bodie's 6th catheterization (and first liver biopsy), for the record. Definitely not our first time at the rodeo. But our first time in quite a while, to be sure.

This <should> be just a standard Fontan follow-up. Bodie's Fontan surgery (his last open heart surgery) was in August of 2013, so we're almost 9 years out from that. And his last cardiac catheterization was in December of 2016, when he had rapidly spiraled into heart failure. So it's been 6 years since his last cath. 

It's time.

It's time to take a look at what's going on inside that amazing ticker of his. 

From the outside, Bodie looks good. Really good. 
He just finished the school year at a very academically challenging school with almost straight A's (that darn math gets him every time!). He's still doing weekly horseback riding lessons and tried both soccer and volleyball this past year. He even went parasailing with Sierra and I in Florida and loved it!  

He's enjoying life with a great group of friends and we're so grateful for that. 

But as always, with these cardiac kids, the outside can be deceiving. And there are lots of known issues with the Fontan circulation as these kids grow, particularly with the liver. The issues can't necessarily be avoided, but the sooner you know they're cropping up, the sooner you can proactively add new medications, make adjustments to current ones, etc. to try to help his heart and other organs not fight the circulation so much. 

The new recommendation is for a cardiac catheterization with a liver biopsy starting at 10 years post-Fontan. We're close enough to that 10 year mark, and we haven't seen how things really look since he first went into heart failure. So both his teams at CHLA and Stanford have decided it's time for that cath. 

So tomorrow is the day. 

When we can, we try to make these surgical trips as fun as possible, so we spent today at his beloved Natural History Museum. He and I had so much fun visiting our favorite exhibits!
Tonight, we're hitting the pool and then putting this dude to bed. 

Please pray for our little dude. 
Pray for steady surgical hands. 
Pray for Bodie's body and his heart. 
Pray for no complications (the list of potential risks and complications are endless and would keep any sane person up tossing and turning every night). 
Pray that he doesn't have any arythmias during the procedure. 
Pray that his liver does ok with the biopsy and it doesn't show anything too concerning. 
Pray that no major interventions are needed (we do know that there is a decent likelihood that they'll have to do some stenting, both in his Left Pulmonary Artery and his Fontan conduit, both of which may have narrowed as he has grown - but our hope is that the interventions will be less than expected). 
Pray for protection over his brain and his body while he's under anesthesia. 
Pray for a smooth recovery.
Pray that if he does have to be admitted, it won't be for long and that we'll be home soon.

And please pray for PEACE, for all of us - for Bodie, who has to undergo the procedure, for Dusk and I, who have to wait on pins and needles for him to come back to us, and for Sierra, who is still back home worrying.

Please just pray for all of us tomorrow. 

I'll update tomorrow throughout the day.


Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Stealing Bodie's Thunder

Bodie is getting his pacemaker replaced next week, and we're all gearing up for surgery. He's had this pacer since his Fontan surgery, so going on 9 years now, and the battery is D.O.N.E. It should be a relatively straighforward procedure and he should go home the same day, but with these cardiac kids, you just never know what to expect. So, like I said, we're all a litte uneasy and focused on his upcoming surgery.

And then, Dusk's cardiac team at UCLA called this morning and asked what he was doing last Friday between 5 and 6pm, because evidently, something had interfered with his pacemaker and it had just stopped for a few seconds. For a dude that relies 100% on his pacemaker, that's not a good scenario. Their suspicion was lead failure. So his team let us know in no uncertain terms that they wanted him at UCLA immediately, and he was not to drive there himself. 

So, Bodie and I packed up the schoolwork we were working on, Dusk packed a bag to stay the night, we found someone to take care of our 8,000 animals, we picked Sierra up from school and we were on our way. We were up at UCLA by around 2:30 and after interrogating his pacemaker and doing a few other tests, they were able to confirm that the lead is not communicating with his pacemaker. And the malfunctioning lead is the sensing lead, the one that tells his ICD to discharge because some big, bad awful thing is happening. His pacemaker needs to be replaced as soon as possible.

His team admitted him and got him on the schedule tomorrow (Wednesday) afternoon at 1pm to replace his pacemaker.

 Talk about stealing Bodie's thunder.

Apparently, Dusk's pacemaker heard Bodie was getting replaced and jumped in with "oooh!!! Ooohhh! Me first!!!" 

So there you have it. 
Unplanned drive to LA. 
Unplanned hospital admission. 
Unplanned surgery.

But I got to say, I'm so proud of the kids and how they just rolled with it. Not one complaint. Dusk's awesome cardiologist (who actually happens to be a pediatric electrophysiologist who also sees adult patients), upon hearing that CHLA won't let Bodie keep his pacemaker when they remove it next week, gave him a sample pacemaker to take home! 
Bodie was over the moon to get it.

I looked over to see Sierra taking a picture of him holding it and then texting her boyfriend's mom, saying that "It's not super major of a surgery. They're just going in through his chest" 
You know, just another Tuesday for the Bennetts.
Clearly, we've done a better job of normalizing all of this than we realized!

So, to recap, crazy day. 
Dusk is in the hospital. 
Kids and I are staying in a hotel tonight and hope to see Dusk tomorrow morning before his surgery.
And the surgery isn't that big a deal because at least it's not open-heart surgery. 
What can I say? Our bar is a pretty high for a surgery to be considered a big deal. :-)

We covet your prayers for an easy and smooth surgery - and that we're all home tomorrow night, safe and sound!

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Shiny, Happy Birthdays

This brave resilient kiddo turned 12 yesterday.
12 years of hopes and dreams and defying expectations. 
We will never stop being amazed at the miracle that is this kid's life. 
We love him more than he will ever know. 

But here's the thing no one tells you about raising a medically fragile child (or maybe they did and I missed that page in the "How to properly raise a child with a rare lifelong disease so that they don't grow up to be a spoiled brat incapable of adult living if they actually get to grow up" handbook)...
milestones are complicated.

Birthdays are a big deal. 
They're a big deal even with healthy kiddos, and even more so with medically fragile kids. They're a reason to celebrate all of the milestones of the past year. And in the case of a medically fragile kiddo, especially one you never dared to hope to dream would see so many birthdays, it's a big big deal. A million reasons to celebrate, to be sure.

But parenting a medically fragile child is a different sort of experience. It requires a lot of very intentional compartmentalizing. It requires taking the biggest fears and concerns, thanking God for taking them, wrapping them up in a box with a pretty bow and shoving that box verrrrrrry far back on the highest closet shelf. And then it requires pretending that box does not exist. Because if you really lived with those fears and uncertainties on a daily basis, it would be paralyzing. It would rob every day of its enjoyment. So you keep that box tightly closed and locked away and try your best to ignore it and live in the here and now.

But when a birthday (or any milestone, for that matter) comes around, you are forced to bring that box down. Because to fully appreciate the beauty of that birthday, the miracle of it, you have to acknowledge what makes it such a miracle. 

And so you hold your breath and you peak into the box, and you see inside that box the worst of your fears. Because that box is swirling with emotions - the PTSD from all the things that did happen, the survivor's guilt for all of the things that could have happened but for reasons you don't understand thankfully didn't, and anticipatory grief for the things that are still to come. It's just...a lot. And, if you're like me, and you're a Cancer, well, you like to hold onto feelings like they're winning lottery tickets. And you're just one hot mess.

Because there's no way to appreciate him turning 12 years old without remembering sending him into open heart surgery at 5 days old, at 2 months old, at 7 months old, at 3 years old, or at 6 years old, each time uncertain whether he'd come back to us...or without remembering the 10 year old roommate he had as a newborn, who suddenly and unexpectedly lost his battle with CHD...or without remembering conversations with doctors about how he likely wouldn't make it to his next surgery, and if he did, he likely wouldn't be strong enough to survive...or ...or...or...the list goes on and on. 

And so, you often find yourself a bit melancholy leading up to birthdays and your eyes filling with tears every time you see your amazing warrior of a son blowing out birthday candles. Not because you don't love him or you're not excited. Because you do and you are. But because there aren't enough words to describe all of the emotions. It's just too much. There's just no space big enough to hold it all. So it stays in the pretty box...most of the time at least. 

Like I said, it's complicated.

So if you see me teary-eyed at a birthday party, or a milestone, give me some grace. There's a lot of complicated stuff going on. 

But know this - we love this kid. 

He's an incredible, funny and resilient human being. One who is going to move mountains. If he can just get out of his own way. ;-) He's a pretty great kid. When he realizes it too, the world will never be the same.

We love you Bodie. Happy 12th Birthday. Here's to many many MANY more!


Sunday, May 16, 2021

Reflections from the other side of COVID

3 out of the 4 of us are officially considered over COVID and free to move about the country at this point. 

Unfortunately, Dusk joined the COVID party with symptoms and a positive diagnosis about a week after us, so he's still in the thick of it. Thankfully, he seems to be managing ok from a respiratory perspective, just generally really fatigued and winded. Like me, he gets it in spurts. But we're ever so grateful he's doing as well as he is, and was even perky enough to celebrate his birthday last night.
Not the birthday any of us envision for him, but we're so grateful to have him recovering and able to remain at home!

Bodie and Sierra seem past their symptoms at this point, other than an errant cough (Bodie) or muscle ache (Sierra). But overall, doing really well. I'm struggling a bit more than they are, still battling with my friends the cold sweats, windedness and fatigue. I gather those new friends may hang around for awhile, but they do seem to be getting better each day, so I hope they won't stick around for too long.

So, now that 3 out of the 4 of us are on the other side, I do have a few thoughts about COVID I'd like to sure.

First, COVID is real. It's not a hoax. It's not a made up political lie just to get us all under government control and vaccinated. And it's not "just a cold." We got very lucky that our symptoms were mild compared to many. But our symptoms were definitely significant and very very weird. 

We tend not to catch too much around here, and I am typically not down for more than a day when I do get sick. But this thing knocked the kids and I on our butts for almost a week straight. As in, I'm pretty sure we binge watched Netflix. Like, all of Netflix. We really didn't have energy to do much else. I didn't cook for probably a week, because none of us really felt like eating. I haven't had mono before, but I'd say the symptoms are similar to what I understand mono to feel like, just over a much abbreviated time period, obviously.

Second, the symptoms are weird and it seems to hit everyone differently. For us....

BODIE had 2 days of unrelenting, rolling on the floor, nothing could touch them, headaches. He does get migraines, so perhaps he was more prone to them (although he did say these headaches were far worse than his migraines)? My understanding is that headaches are much more common in kids in the early stages of COVID, and the speculation is that it is an effect of the virus crossing the blood brain barrier (isn't that a fun visual?). The headaches were then followed by 2 days of his sense of smell and taste being severely affected. He never lost it entirely, but everything "tasted and smelled like vomit," so getting him to eat or drink anything was near impossible. When he did eat, he would almost immediately throw up. By the 2nd day, he was throwing up despite not putting anything into his stomach. He woke up that day with huge dark circles under his eyes, a heart rate in the 160s and extremely lethargic. He was begging us to take him to the hospital so he could get fluids through an iv. It was the most frightened I was the entire time. We touched base with his team and got a Zofran prescription called in. Later that day, he started to turn the corner, eating and drinking a little. The next day, my best friends dropped off a huge selection of his favorite foods (Mexican, Panda Express and pizza!) and that turned the corner for him, thankfully! We got fluids and food back in him and he was feeling better. His sense of smell was off for a few more days, but seems ok now. Throughout the entire 10 days, he had periodic coughing (kept at bay with his inhaler, for the most part), some nasal congestion and a little shortness of breath. He never had a fever.

SIERRA had a couple of days of a fever in the 101 range right at the beginning, severe muscle aches and a horrible sore throat. Once that broke, she felt better, but had on and off muscle aches, congestion, sore throat and shortness of breath. She also lost her sense of smell, but it's back now thankfully.

AMY. I never had a fever, but had muscle aches for the first day or so. I did lose my sense of smell (it's back, but not completely - I have to try really hard to smell things), had some pretty bad nasal congestion and coughing on and off. My biggest issue was (and continues to be) shortness of breath, fatigue and random cold sweats. I would be sitting on the couch and think "I'm going to clean up the living room! We've been sitting on the couch for 2 days straight and our living room looks like a frat house. This is ridiculous!" So I'd stand up, pick something up off the floor and throw it in the trash. And I'd be panting like I had just run a mile - and I'd be super sweaty. Essentially, my body would say "Nah, I think we're just gonna right back down and watch some more Netflix." So I did. The windedness and sweating seems less frequent now, but it's still there from time to time. And comes on unexpedtedly, which is always fun. And the fatigue is getting better, but definitely still there - and catches me by surprise every time. Apparently, I'm not Superwoman after all.

DUSK's symptoms haven't resolved completely yet, but seem to be similar to mine, although less fatigued.

Battling COVID with two medically fragile family members isn't for the faint of heart, no pun intended. It was scary, in large part due to the weirdness of this virus, whose symptoms ebb and flow. It's sort of a whole new day every day with COVID, a Russian Roulette board where you might wake up with an entirely new symptom, no symptoms at all, or need to be hospitalized. The worry of not knowing which one you'll end up with ups the ante considerably.

On the whole, I consider us to be incredibly lucky our symptoms weren't worse. We have been told we should have at least 3 months natural immunity now, maybe more. We don't know our next steps yet, only that we're holding off on any vaccinations for a bit. Apparently, side effects from the vaccines are considerably higher if you either have covid or have recently recovered from it, so we're holding off for now. I know my doctor wants antibody tests done first on me before we make decisions on me, and we will rely on the medical advice of Dusk and Bodie's teams for them as well. But in the meantime, we can apparently run around and hug everyone for the next 3 months without fear of risking them or us! 

We're so grateful for the friends who came alongside us while we had COVID (well, not literally - but who dropped food off, who ran errands, who sent us surprises and meals) - you lifted our spirits in ways we cannot fully express. Please just know how grateful we are.

And THANK YOU for praying for us. We know that is why our family has handled, and continues to handle, this pandemic so well. Please continue to pray that Dusk's symptoms remain manageable, so he can join us in hugging the world soon!

Sunday, May 9, 2021

Motherhood in the time of covid

Mother's Day this year has been...different.

Sierra, Bodie and I were all diagnosed with symptomatic COVID on Friday. We know where we got it. It's a long story, but let's just preface this by saying that we have been very careful with masks and social distancing. With two medically fragile peeps in the house, we take COVID very seriously around here. We are definitely not of the "it's just a cold" or "it's a hoax" camp. Sorry, not sorry for that. But the one thing we have learned in raising a medically fragile child is that all the worry has to be balanced with LIVING your life. We let our guard down a bit...and we ended up with COVID.

Thankfully, Dusk and I both have our first vaccine under our belts (our second shot was scheduled for this week, actually). That has probably helped my symptoms to be more mild. And Dusk tested negative and has had no symptoms, thank God. We're ever prayerful he remains that way.

Bodie, Sierra and I are all symptomatic. 

I tell ya, this disease is a weird one. 

Sierra was the first to come down with her symptoms, and is almost a week in at this point. She seems past the worst of her symptoms, which included one day of a 101 fever and really bad muscle aches. She has lost her taste and sense of smell and generally is just really tired. Although her fever is gone, she is suffering from a lot of what she calls "heat waves" when she just gets really hot suddenly. 

Bodie was second to become symptomatic, and is faring ok so far. He suffered through two days of unrelenting, sobbing on the floor, massive, absolutely untouchable by any home remedy or medicine, headaches. (I have since learned that headaches are a common early COVID symptom in kids, even more so than fevers.) His headaches have passed, thankfully, but his sense of smell and taste has been affected today so much that "everything tastes and smells like vomit." It's been difficult to get him to eat anything. We know the key to keeping him healthy enough to fight this virus at home (and not have to go to the hospital) is to keep him well fed and hydrated, so please pray this symptom passes quickly for him. Thankfully, his lungs seem clear so far and he's been fever free. He does have congestion and coughing, but it hasn't moved into his chest yet.

I was the last to become symptomatic and am now only on day 4. I haven't had a fever yet, but am a bit congested. My biggest symptom by far is the shortness of breath and it's NO JOKE. I'm fine as long as I'm sitting down. But once I stand up to start moving around, I can't make it more than 15 minutes before I'm out of breath and needing to rest. I literally broke into a sweat changing the sheets on the bed today. And my body is definitely struggling to maintain temperature - my overall temp is low, but I'm sweating a lot and going from hot to cold and back. My oxygen sats are ok - it's just that I'm constantly out of breath. I feel like a contestant on The Biggest Loser, at the beginning of the show, when they can't walk more than 15 feet without getting out of the breath. 

It's been super fun.

We've gotten good advice on the best regimen of vitamins and supplements to take at home in addition to the essential oils we're already using, and we're on that. 

Our challenge as a family has been figuring out how to isolate Dusk from the rest of us so that he doesn't also catch it. Thankfully, our property is big enough that we've been able to do that thus far. But we really miss him. :-( We're ever so grateful that he can pick up groceries for us right now, since we're persona non grata pretty much everywhere. 

We covet your prayers right now. 

COVID is really like a game of Russian Roulette. 
It can turn at any time. 
I know many people experience mild symptoms, but there are many that don't and we are painfully aware of that. The worship pastor at our church, a healthy guy with no comorbidities, is back in the hospital battling complications from covid again, and has been fighting it since December. We KNOW how serious this disease is and we'd be lying if we said we weren't concerned.
But we know we worship a God who has foreseen all of this and has his ever protective hand on us.  

PLEASE pray for and with our family. 
Pray that our symptoms don't become worse.
Pray that Bodie can continue to manage his symptoms at home.
Pray that Dusk doesn't get it.
Pray for God's hand of healing and protection over our family, especially over Dusk and Bodie. 

So this Mother's Day looked a little different today. 
It involved a lot of resting, and a socially distanced dinner outside so we could be with Dusk. 
But at least we are together. 
I got to talk to my incredible, amazing role model mom multiple times today.
And I have my babies in my arms, covid positive and all, but they're with me.
And for this, I know I am the lucky one.

Tuesday, February 16, 2021

Does this shirt make me look eleven?

"Mama, I know your 10th birthday is a big deal, because you're double digits. And 13 is a big deal because you're a teenager. But 11 isn't really a big deal, right?"
Oh my sweet boy.
You will never have a birthday that's not a big deal.
You will always be our miracle.
You don't get to take birthdays for granted. 
Sorry not sorry, kiddo.

(Bodie even helped make his cake this year!)

COVID might have made it a little harder to celebrate like we'd have wanted, but we made it work. 

Bodie has recently developed a really sweet tight knit group of local boys his age who are also homeschooled.  It's all outside these days (thanks to COVID), and they're all country boys, so it's a little bit Lord of the Flies, but it's so awesome. 

We invited them over yesterday and had an epic Nerf battle party 
We were able to keep everyone outside and (mostly) with their masks on - Nerf protective gear for the win! 
Even the big sisters got in on the action.

The smile on his face says it all (well, it says he needs to pull his mask back up, but it also shows his sheer happiness). 

Sierra made a pretty epic fruit and veggie platter.

Birthday candles, COVID style. 
Ain't no way we were letting this kid blow out candles on a cake that was about to be eaten by others. Ha!

Last night, Bodie said to me "Mom, I know I say this every year, but that was seriously the best birthday party I've ever had."
I couldn't agree more.
Getting to watch him run around for 2 hours with the sweetest group of boys who love him as much as we do, and hearing him laughing hysterically...that was truly the best birthday gift I could have imagined for him. 

Our kiddo has found his tribe. 
A bunch of Lego building, Nerf gun shooting, "let's make our own tribe" boys. 
And we are profoundly grateful. 

So yes.
10 is a big deal because you're in double digits.
And 13 is a big deal because you're officially a teenager.
But when you're 11 and -
you've had 6 heart surgeries
and 5 heart catheterizations
and countless blood draws, x-rays and other procedures
and spent far too many nights in the hospital - 
11 is a big deal.
A very very big deal.

Happy Birthday to the bravest kid we know. 
We could not possibly love you more.