Two years ago today, our sweet boy came home for the first time. He was 6 weeks old. We were like first time parents on steroids. We were elated. We were thrilled. We were scared and beyond nervous. We had every right to be nervous - we had only one job and that was to keep our son alive. With interstage hypoplasts, that's no easy feat. He was on continuous oxygen, on thickened feeds and on 6 different medications (most administered 3 times a day, for a total of 17 syringes), but he was HOME...for a second.
I am SO GLAD we didn't know what was around the corner for us. I am SO GLAD we didn't know we'd only have him home for 3 weeks before racing back to the hospital, almost losing him in the cath lab and again hours later, or that we'd be watching him rushed into emergency surgery a week after that. I am SO GLAD we didn't know that the next time he'd come home, it would only be for 3 days, before he'd be back in the hospital, diagnosed with multiple hospital borne infections, intubated two more times and at the brink of death within a week. I am SO GLAD we didn't know his first hospital stay (which seemed ridiculously long at the time) would be short compared to his MRSA/c-diff stay. I am beyond grateful that God, in his infinite wisdom, doesn't let us see that far into the future. Because, truly, if I had known how hard it was about to become, I don't think I could have done it. I think I'd have collapsed right then and there and said "NO WAY, God. NO HOW. NOT gonna happen. I cannot do this."
But thank God for his divine wisdom, in not letting us see more than today. So on this day, 2 years ago, I was able to just rejoice. Rejoice in the fact that my son was home. Rejoice that my 2 children were together, finally, and our family was whole.
And today, two years later, I am able to rejoice in my sweet little towheaded boy who, when he gets excited about something and wants more of it, doesn't just shriek "MOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!!", but signs it (the one and only sign he knows) furiously - just in case you somehow missed that he wants more. :-) And who asks for hugs and kisses all day long. Our sweet boy who will drop everything to come running at just the chance to watch a VeggieTales episode. And who is my most helpful backseat driver, alternating between yelling "Watch out!" (a helpful reminder not to text and drive, I suppose - ha!) and "GO! GO! GO!" if I'm not driving fast enough. :-) A little guy who taught himself just 2 days after moving to his bunkbed to close the door if he wakes up and comes out of the bedroom before Sierra. A little guy that loves his mama so stinking much that he literally sobs when he gets to the part of the Llama Llama books when the mama has to leave or doesn't come back quickly enough. He's nothing if not empathetic. My heart is so full of his goodness. I am so lucky.
Praise God I didn't know where we were headed when we brought our little guy home 2 years ago today. Because I'm not sure I'd have had the strength to ever see ahead to where we are today. :-)