When “Thank You” isn’t enough

To our dearest donor family…

I don’t even know where to begin to thank you for the gift you selflessly gave to our family this past June. As I sat across from my son at Thanksgiving dinner this week, all I could think about was your family.

Our family has a Thanksgiving tablecloth. Each year, everyone in attendance at Thanksgiving dinner writes what they are thankful for. Over the years, it has become a beautiful history of our family as it has grown and we’ve witnessed God’s miracles in our lives. This year, all I could write was that I was thankful for the gift of organ donation.

But really, I just mean you.

And the gift you gave to our family.

I know Thanksgiving can’t have been an easy holiday for you this year. I’m sure your table felt a little emptier, and it may have been hard to think of things to be grateful for this year.

I want you to know you’re in my prayers.

Not just on Thanksgiving, but every day.

Every time I watch my son hit a new milestone we never dared to hope for before, my joy and pride are always tinged with love and sadness for your family.

But in this season of thankfulness, it seemed the right time to reach out to you and say thank you. The words seem hollow and tiny compared to the gift you gave us, but truthfully, there are no words that would encompass what we feel.

I just want you to know what a profound difference your choice has made.

Because of your decision, for the first time in his life, our 14 year old son doesn’t have to choose his activities based on what he’s physically capable of. After feeling for 14 years as though “there was an elephant on my chest,” he can breathe freely when he walks and runs.

Because of your decision, our seventeen year old daughter got a lifetime of memories to make with her little brother.

Because of your decision, for the first time in his life, our son knows what it’s like to have a whole heart pumping blood through his body. He was born with half a heart, and before his heart transplant, he had undergone 6 heart surgeries that re-routed his blood flow so that his half a heart could sustain his entire body. But that half a heart was never meant to sustain the entire body. (Yes, this means he was born with half a heart, and not even the good half! He only had the right half, which is only meant to pump blood to the lungs. The left half, the workhorse half, built to pump to the entire body, just never developed. At all.) And on top of his missing left ventricle, he had inherited a rhythm disorder from my husband, so had been pacemaker dependent since he was two months old. Needless to say, his heart was a bit of a mess. And his whole body knew it. He did the best he could. But now, for the first time in his life, he has a body working the way it’s supposed to. It’s as though his whole future is suddenly wide open.

Before transplant, our son couldn’t keep up with his friends. His friends understood. They would slow down and wait for him. But he was always behind. And he noticed. Competitive sports were entirely out of the question. Even recreational sports were a challenge for him. And he tired out so easily. He couldn’t say yes to things his friends did. Because he knew his body couldn’t do them. He knew he needed rest. His entire life had been that way. So for him to be able to keep up now is nothing short of a miracle. His friends noticed almost immediately once we returned home from his transplant.

And I want you to know a little bit about the life you so selflessly saved. Bodie is an extraordinary kid. He will tell you he’s not, and he’s really uncomfortable when people make a big deal about him. He’s a really humble kid. He’s very smart, but will also tell you he’s not that either. He’s extremely funny, and has had a great sense of comedic timing from the time he was little. Maybe it was from spending months in the hospital as a baby, or being in and out of medical appointments as he got older. But whatever the case, he’s a really funny kid. He can deliver one liners like none other (that’s actually how I knew he was going to be ok in the hospital – when his sarcastic zingers started coming back to him). He’s the most fun person to get gifts for, because he gets so excited and is so grateful. He’s quiet and unassuming and he doesn’t open up to everyone. But when he does, you see this amazingly funny and vibrant kid. A teenage boy who loves Minecraft and videogaming and Legos. And has a soft spot for animals and will adopt every single one if you’d let him (we currently have 5 cats, 2 dogs, a bunny, a turtle and lots of chickens and ducks, if that gives you an idea).

To say that your gift has made a difference doesn’t even scratch the surface. You have profoundly altered the course of our son’s life, and the life of our entire family and the community.

I don’t know if you know this, but when our son was listed for a heart, he was on life support. Everything happened so quickly. He went from graduating from 8th grade to being in full blown heart failure and on life support within a week. He was only on the transplant list for 16 hours, and his body took to this new heart almost immediately. Everything happened so quickly we barely had time to think. But what we know for certain is this. It was so abundantly clear that our son was where he was supposed to be exactly when he was supposed to be there. We didn’t know it at the time, but God was orchestrating our miracle. A miracle that unfolded in front of hundreds of thousands of people following his journey. The video of him waking up and learning he had received a new heart has been viewed by over a million people! And this miracle was only made possible by your generosity.

Dearest donor family, I don’t know what the future holds, But I do know that my son has had this new heart for 5 months now, and his body really likes it. He’s grown almost 3 inches and 3 shoe sizes. His life is completely different than it was 5 months ago. And his future is so, so bright.

Thank you so much.

In your time of grief, you made the most selfless decision. And whatever our son does with this new life, please know that he will take this precious heart with him, and use this second chance at life to leave a lasting impact.

Thank you for our greatest gift.

God Bless You.

Stealing back our moments

Bodie had his 4 month transplant clinic appointment at Stanford this morning, complete with an echo, blood draw, visits with multiple practitioners and a flu shot. Thankfully, all looks great and this heart really seems to like its new home with Bodie!

He even got approval to have his 5 month appointment be done virtually, which means we don’t have to come back up until December! (The transplant team at LPCH is going to try and coordinate for him to have an echo done in November at Rady’s, which will give us a great opportunity to meet the team down in San Diego. Although LPCH will continue to be our main transplant care center, we will be switching from CHLA to Rady’s for any local care needs. We’ll miss CHLA so much, but Rady’s is so much closer and it just makes more sense for where Bodie’s at in his journey.)

Bodie’s appointments were done by late morning, but our scheduled flight back wasn’t until this evening. So we took the opportunity to regain one of what I have dubbed our “stolen moments” from this past summer.

When we came up here in June for what we thought were just 2 days of routine appointments at Stanford, I had planned a mini vacation out of it. I had purchased tickets to the Winchester Mystery House and Alcatraz, and we were so excited. We obviously didn’t end up doing either of those things, and both of the organizations were so kind and refunded me the ticket price with no issues whatsover. We were so grateful.

So when we unexpectedly found ourselves with free time today, I could think of no more fitting thing to do than go to the Winchester Mystery House.

The visit was SO fun and Bodie had a blast. It was especially fun because it’s Halloween season, so there are lots of extra decorations out to make it even more eerie.

For Bodie, a horror aficionado, it was a fun afternoon of delving into his favorite subject.

For me, it was so much more.

It was the culmination of a moment I wasn’t certain would ever come.

It may have taken us 4 months to get here. But man, was it worth every moment.

Alcatraz, get ready – we’re coming for you next.

(Ok, not quite yet. Because we’re currently stuck in a hotel by the San Jose airport. Apparently it’s foggy in San Diego, so flights were canceled left and right tonight. After delay after delay, then cancellations of all but the last flight out, we just asked them to put us on a flight tomorrow morning. Hoping the fog has cleared by then. But in the grand scheme of things, I’m ok with a little fog. After all, that’s just a little inconvenience. If that’s what keeps us up here, and not Bodie’s health, I’ll take that any day!)

Thank you SO MUCH for your continued prayers for Bodie! It’s only because of them that he is doing as well as he is. We are so grateful for the army of warriors praying for our sweet boy!

And as you’re remembering Bodie in your prayers, will you also please pray for our friend Alex? Bodie and I met Alex and his dear mom in the teen playroom (when Alex’s mom had dragged Alex and I had dragged Bodie to the teen room for arts and crafts). Alex had a heart and liver transplant 2 months ago and has faced hurdle after hurdle in his recovery. His body needs a break and he deserves to enjoy life with these beautiful new organs. Please blanket him in prayer – for strength for his body, for wisdom for the doctors, and peace for his mama.

Settling in

Bodie and I have now been home a little over 2 weeks, and we’re still settling in. I’m still finding boxes that never got unpacked – and still trying to find things that were moved while Bodie and I were gone (and no one seems to know where they moved them to!). We’re so grateful to be home though!

First off, Bodie is doing great! We continue to see increases in his stamina, and even his friends have noticed his increased energy levels! We’ve been doing regular lab work and had a remote appointment with his transplant team last week. We made some tweaks on meds, but from the outside, everything looks pretty good, thankfully. We go up to Stanford the week after this for an echo and in person clinic appointment, so we’ll know for sure then. But things look good for now!

He’s settling into school, but we don’t yet have routines set in place. His first day of school was rough, because I inadvertently gave him food poisoning. (No, I’m not proud!) I accidentally grabbed an expired bottle of Almond Milk to make his pasta (yes he eats pasta for breakfast). It smelled fine, so we didn’t know any different. But when I picked him up from school and realized that he had thrown up 4 times at school (but hadn’t told his teachers, so they just thought he had to got o the bathroom a lot), let’s say my spidey senses were on high alert. You never want a transplant kiddo to start vomiting suddenly. He spent the better part of that afternoon and evening throwing up. And I spent the better of my evening watching him and talking to his transplant team to determine whether an ER trip was warranted. Thankfully, he hung in there and was back to baseline by the next morning, back to school the day after that! Nothing like being thrown into the fire of school with a transplant kid! Suffice it to say, we all learned our lesson (Bodie learned that he needs to tell his teachers if he’s throwing up, and I learned to always double check the food I’m making him!).

Other than that hiccup, school is going well and Bodie’s working hard to get completely caught up. I think he’s ready to be on campus 4 days a week (full time at his school), but our agreement with the school was 2 days on campus with the remainder at home for the first semester. We figured he’d need a little more time to settle back in.

Speaking of settling in, I keep trying to figure out why it’s so hard for me to get everything done that I need to get done.

And then I looked at my schedule and realized that in the 2 weeks since we got home, in addition to Bodie’s schoolwork and my client work, Bodie and I had a combined 5 doctors appointments, 2 lab draws, 2 therapy sessions and 2 meetings at school. And a super successful 2 day yard sale spearheaded by our dear friend Francesca to raise money for our COTA fund!

In addition, Sierra’s sweet 6 month old kitten Toulouse was just diagnosed with Feline Infectious Peritonitis (FIP). FIP is an aberrant immune response in cats to infection with feline coronavirus. Without treatment it is universally fatal in days to weeks. The good news is, the FDA approved a drug to treat FIP just this past June, enabling us to get treatment for him without resorting to back alley drug deals. The bad news is that the medication isn’t cheap (but thankfully much cheaper than surgery!). We started injections yesterday and he’ll be on daily injections or pills for the next 12 weeks, then will be on observation for 12 weeks after that. We got him for Sierra the day before Bodie and I headed up to Stanford in June, and in many ways he was Sierra’s emotional support animal this summer. He is the sweetest, snuggliest cat we’ve ever had. We all love him and would hate to lose him.

Anyone want to guess who’s in charge of obtaining and giving the injections?!? Hint – she’s one the one typing the blog entry!

So yeah. That could possibly be why I’m not getting anything done. But in the grand scheme of things, I’ll take it! Because it all means we’re home and settling in. More or less.

Bodie and Sierra had their Homecoming dance last night. In true Bodie fashion, he wasn’t very interested in giving me any pictures. This one at the top and this pic were the best I got.

Bodie went with one of his buddies, and Sierra went with several different groups of friends. It was so special to have them be able to share their Homecoming Dance with each other. At least I thought it was.

Turns out, neither kid particularly appreciated the specialness of the moment.

Especially Bodie.

With a fair amount of wrangling and a lot of bribery and threats, the kids managed to take one good pic to send to me.

And because SIerra is a teenage girl living her best life doing allllll the things (musical theatre, ASB, rowdy crowd at the games – you name it she’s all in and loving every minute!) she did send me a bunch of really good pics. I just love how radiant she looks even after the crazy last few months!

Even amidst of the overwhelm of our life at the moment, I am always reminded of how lucky we are to be in this season, where we are all home and TOGETHER. I think often of our friends who are not that lucky. Friends in the hospital still waiting for their miracle hearts to come, friends holding vigil bedside as their children fight through unexpected obstacles in recovery from their transplants, friends whose children are further out and suddenly fighting again. I KNOW HOW BLESSED WE ARE.

Thank you so much for all of your continued prayers for Bodie and for our family! We covet your prayers for continued peace in this time of transition back home, for our sweet kitty Toulouse, for Bodie’s appointments next week to go well, and finally, always, for our donor family. Without them, none of this would be possible.

High School here we come

This morning, 3 months and 3 days after receiving a brand new heart, Bodie returned to school in person!

We are so blessed to have a wonderful school with a variety of schooling options, allowing him to be on campus 2 days a week until January, when he’ll transition back to full time on campus.

He’s been working remotely since school started in mid August, but today he was finally able to go to classes in person.

It’s so hard to believe he’s really starting high school! A moment I’ve never dared to dream off all the years in and out of the hospital, and most especially this past June as he lay fighting for his life.

We are forever grateful to the donor family who made this moment possible, and all of the milestones still yet to come.

All possible because of organ donation.

There’s no place like home

On June 3rd, we left San Diego for what we thought would be a quick trip to Stanford for a handful of routine visits.

101 days, 42 nights in the hospital, 7 days on Ecmo, countless procedures and a brand spanking new heart later, yesterday, we arrived HOME!

We left the hotel in Belmont Shores on Thursday, with our car loaded to the brim.

We drove 235 miles south to my parents’ place on the Central Coast, and spent the night with them.

It was so fun for them to see how great Bodie looked – and that, at a little over 5’7″ he’s now taller than Gigi!

We drove from there, home, stopping for lunch at our favorite spot in Santa Monica, the Annenberg Beach House.

(I used to take the kids there in the summer, so it was wonderful to have a moment to recapture a little bit of the summer we didn’t get to have!)

We arrived home Friday at 5:30 – the irony was not lost on me that Bodie, the lover of all things horror, arrived home on Friday the 13th!

The best part was coming home to Bodie’s best friends (and a couple of their amazing moms, my best friends, who orchestrated the whole thing)! They surprised him by hiding in his bedroom with balloons, flowers and an awesome Welcome Home sign!

The boys ended up staying all evening, catching up, eating pizza and swimming in the pool and jacuzzi. To get to see Bodie just melting right back into his friend group like he’d never left, like he hasn’t just had this crazy life saving summer, was just everything…

To say our animals were excited to see us was the understatement of the century. Bodie and I missed them SO MUCH! Maxi’s face says it all.

We are so beyond grateful to be home, and are so looking forward to this next stage of healing for Bodie! We cannot thank you enough for the prayers you have all covered Bodie with.

Please continue to pray for Bodie during this next stage of healing:

1. Please pray that his body continues to like his new heart. The scary thing about rejection is that it truly can happen at any time, without any symptoms. So please pray that his body continues to NOT reject and his follow up appointments all go well.
2. Please pray for his immune system. Bodie is and always will always be immuno-compromised. He will be on immunosuppressant meds for life to try to prevent rejection of his heart. This means that he’ll be more susceptible to catching germs, and is likely to get sicker when he does catch anything. His immune system is similar to that of someone going through chemo – but he looks really healthy from the outside, so it’s easy for people to dismiss it and think it’s ok to be around him if they’re sick. It’s 100% not ok to be around Bodie if you’ve been sick or around someone who is sick! This first cold and flu season will tell us a lot about how well his immune system can handle sickness. Some transplant patients more or less do ok with illness, and others end up in and out of the hospital with every sickness. We won’t know which camp Bodie will fall into until he starts being exposed to germs. Please pray that we can successfully prevent exposure to the most serious illnesses, and that he’ll handle the less serious ones ok.
3. Pray for back to school. The next big hurdle for Bodie will be transitioning back into school. He’s been doing his work remotely, but will be transitioning back to school on campus 2 days a week initially, and then full time next semester. Please pray his transition to high school goes well academically and that we can walk the fine line of allowing him to be as involved as he’d like on campus while still protecting him from germs.
4. Pray for the donor family. As we transition home, so full of hope and excitement for this next chapter in Bodie’s life, we know another family somewhere is still trying to transition to life without their loved one. Please continue to pray for grace and love for that family.

From a father’s eyes

I have been so privileged to have had a front row seat to watching Bodie’s extraordinary healing over the past few weeks, but Dusk hadn’t gotten to see it. Words can only tell you so much. We were lucky enough to have him spend the last few days with us, and what follows are his words describing the experience…

But before we get to that, BIG news! As of last Monday, Bodie has been NG TUBE FREE!!!

Yes, you read that right! Today, I happily dropped off all of the remaining formula and tube supplies at the Ronald Mcdonald House for another family to get the benefit of!

(We had been holding this big news in because Bodie wanted to surprise Dusk with it when he got here – and surprise him he did!)

FROM DUSK…

It’s been a long summer. I think I can speak for the four of us and say we’re spent. What started as a simple trip to Stanford for cardiac follow up turned into a terrifying experience.

It’s safe to say we are officially on the other side of transplant. We owe a great deal of gratitude to the million+ who experienced Bodie’s procedure with us and prayed for him during his darkest moments. Bodie is doing remarkably well up here in Belmont and his recovery is nothing less than miraculous.

I flew up to spend a bit of time with them and let me be the first to tell you this kiddo has transformed. He wasn’t a strong kid to begin with and when I saw him last he could barely walk around the block so imagine my surprise when I walked over 8 MILES with him chasing Pokémon up and down the coast!

I kept asking him if he felt tired or out of breath and he said ‘No, but I can’t feel my legs or feet anymore.’ That was about mile 5ish. We just kept walking. It took us about 4 hours.

The next day, we caught a movie and then (expecting his muscles to be really sore) we went to Half Moon Bay to take it easy. He ended up walking in the surf for 4 miles before deciding to leave

Needless to say the nurse at his appointment this morning was just as surprised when she found out reiterating, ‘he walked it all at once?’ Yup.

In addition to looking great, having a real energy, weight gain, and his vocal paresis is starting to wear off, you can carry a conversation with him now. In fact, when I got off the plane he surprised me at the airport with a missing NG tube! He’s eating and drinking unregulated now. All of this a serious answer to prayer.

Next week the plan is to have his 3 month cath lab visit and if all goes well he will be discharged to home. Amy has already started plans to pack for imminent departure.

So, it seems likely they could be back home before next Saturday, putting an end to a very trying summer. Fingers crossed that he does well this week and comes in strong enough to fly through his Cath and IVIG treatment next week!

Have Tour Guide, will travel

Today, we were so blessed to have a very special friend in town, who gave us an insider’s tour of San Francisco! Bodie’s view of San Francisco this trip has been, let’s just say, not exactly Trip Advisor worthy. So it was such a treat to have Ramsey show us some fun places today!

We started by driving over the Golden Gate bridge…

And went from there into the sweet little town of Sausalito, where we beat the crowds and were able to eat lunch outside safely.

It was Bodie’s FIRST time eating out at a restaurant since his transplant! It was such a treat for him – and me!

We snapped a couple of pics of the water, then headed out very quickly once the crowds really started descending.

(We had Bodie wear a mask when we were walking around, but let him take it off for pics.)

After that, we were so lucky to get to pop over to a friend’s house to see a fellow HLHSer, Bennett!

(Bennett was headed out to a zombie themed birthday party – hence the super cool costume. But then again, me being a homeschool mom, I didn’t even bat an eye or notice until his mom pointed it out. Ha!)

His mom Kristen is one of our amazing Sisters by Heart Board members – and one of my favorite heart mamas!

Bodie was jonesing for some frozen yogurt, and Kristen let us know about a super cool local froyo spot we could check out. So we tried it out and let’s just say, Bodie was pretty satisfied. He did say he felt guilty cheating on Menchie’s (his absolute favorite froyo chain), but it was worth it. 😉

After that, Ramsey drove us all through the city, taking us on the steep streets and pointing out landmarks. It was such a blast!

Today was so wonderful, and it added such a sense of normalcy to an otherwise very tough and medically defined summer. We still have to be very careful with Bodie and germs, but it’s so incredible to be able to carve out experiences we CAN do safely! We’re so grateful for the gift of friends like Ramsey!

Best 3 days ever

Bodie has officially proclaimed the last 3 days the “Best 3 days ever.”

And with good reason.

This morning, he had his follow up appointment with ENT and Speech Therapy to look at his vocal cords and evaluate progress in swallowing. Although the scope itself was SO uncomfortable for Bodie, the results were fantastic! They were shocked to see the improvement in just a month!

He is now cleared to drink as much as he wants of all thickened liquids. We need to thicken to a Level 2, which is similar to a nectar consistency. It’s slightly thicker than water.

AND he’s cleared for even thin liquids, as long as I’m observing him, he sips (no gulping or choking) and takes it slowly! And he needs to make sure to give himself a break if he feels himself starting to aspirate.

This means, HE CAN DRINK DIET COKE! (He has to sip it slowly and make sure I’m observing, but even so, he gets to drink it again!)

(No, please don’t lecture me on the dangers of Diet Coke. Read the room peeps – not the time or place for that lecture. The boy loves himself some Diet Coke and has been so sad that he hasn’t been able to drink it. The smile on his face today was pretty epic!)

AND he can eat ice cream again! (Ice cream melts to a thin liquid, so as long as he wasn’t permitted thin liquids, he wasn’t allowed to eat ice cream.)

He celebrated by double fisting with Diet Coke and a McFlurry from McDonalds!

The best part is that his group of best buddies (we call them “The Quad Squad”) sent him a picture of them a few hours later, also double fisting sodas and McFlurries from McDonalds to celebrate Bodie!

I mean, how can you ask for better friends than this?!? Bodie misses them so much and can’t wait to get back home to be with them again!

The other reason the last 3 days have been so fantastic is that, in addition to the 3 miles he walked on Sunday night, last night we went on another walk. I let Bodie lead the way, and he chose several Pokémon routes. In the excitement of following the routes, we may or may not have totally gotten lost and ended up in the next town over! All told, we walked over 5 miles and he did AMAZING! He’s never been able to walk far like that before.

In a summer with a lot of rough moments, we’re so excited to have some really great ones to celebrate!