Friday, May 11, 2018

Tears...the really good kind.

Today was the kids' annual FundRun at school. Physical stuff is tough for Bodie. Last year's run was especially tough for Bodie, as his heart failure was really kicking him in the butt. He only made it a couple of laps in before the frustration set in, where he noticed his own limitations as his peers lapped him. He managed to make it 70 laps last year, with several laps piggy backed or carried by mom to hit that mark, but there were some tears shed along the way.  

I wasn't sure what to expect this year. He seems to be feeling better physically, although little has changed with his actual heart failure since last year. 

But this kid. 
He never ceases to amaze me.
Today, he ran/walked 121 laps.
121 freaking laps.
All by himself.
I ran with him for some laps.
I chased him for some of those laps.
But I did not carry him for a single lap.
I did not piggy back him for a single lap.
I know, right? 

I honestly don't know how he did it.
With his degree of heart failure, he should not have been able to come even close to that.
And yet he did.

Earlier today, a teacher asked me whether I choked up every time I watched Bodie run. 
The answer is that yes, I totally do. 
Because he shouldn't be able to do this, any of it.
I have gotten really good at stuffing it down and compartmentalizing, because, well, who wants their mom crying every single time they freaking run?
Not my kid.

But the tears, they're all there.
Tonight, when I was telling Bodie how proud I was, he asked me about the tears in my eyes, about whether they meant I was sad.

No, bud. 
Not even close.
Just so proud I can't find the right words. 
So the tears will have to do.

And if we're talking about pride, let me mention this girlie here, with one of her besties, Rhiannon.
She was on the bigger track for the first time and was a bit nervous.
Let's just say our family hasn't exactly been blessed with athletic abilities, regardless of cardiac status.
But this girl, she blew me away today. 
She ran and ran and ran.
And then ran some more.
And logged more laps than most of the girls out there. 
And had the hugest smile on her face the whole time.

Maybe there's a track star in there.
Or maybe just a dreamer who loves to run.
Either way, we'll take it.

Oh, and if you're looking for other reasons I love that kid, I blogged about her recently for - you can find it here - My Tween and Me and our ADHD

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