Friday, January 13, 2012

Operation Breakup

So, I may have mentioned once, or twice, or, I don't know, 800 times, on this blog that Bodie is a tad clingy. Think I'm exaggerating? I most assuredly am not. Example:
  1. When we have family prayer time at night, Bodie HAS to be right next to me - Dusk and I joke that, if he could, Bodie would crawl back inside just to make sure no one else could be closer to me. I think it sorta falls in the "if I can't have her, no one can" mentality.
  2. He pantses me at least once a day because I won't pick him up in a timely manner - typically when my hands are otherwise occupied making dinner and he wants to be held RIGHT THEN. I mean, we're talking, he pulls my pants all the way down to my ankles.
  3. If you ask him what he wants for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner - or what toy he wants to play with, his answer is almost always "mama."
  4. If I lock the door to the bathroom while taking a shower, thereby preventing him from coming in to check on me (and let the cold air in) approximately every 30 seconds or so during my shower, he loses it. Full on screaming meltdown outside the bathroom door - even if daddy is home and trying to play with him. Apparently the fact that I have never gone into the bathroom and not come out hasn't persuaded him that there's not some sort of secret exit out the other side.
Dusk calls it an issue of codependence. Sadly, I have to agree. The irony is that I was worried that the fact that I didn't hold him for the first week of his life might inhibit his ability to bond with me somehow. Fat chance.

As funny as all of this sounds, it's actually pretty frustrating. Although we have made GREAT progress in him being able to tolerate babysitters and his therapists and not care so much when I'm not around, when it's just us at home, he really thinks he needs to be the center of my universe AT.ALL.TIMES. The problem is, HE'S NOT. I do have another child who I desperately want to spend time with and focus on - and who deserves that time. And while Dusk and I both get a good deal of time with both kids, neither of us get enough time to just focus on Sierra and let her be the absolute center of attention. Because Bodie is on the high-maintenance side (he's VERY fun, but when he's upset, forget about it - the whole world has to stop and solve his problem, even if that problem is trying to put a sock on or put all of his cars in his hands at once), it's hard to give Sierra that attention when he's around. So...daddy and I have come up with a plan, called "Sierra Mommy/Daddy Date Night" also known as "Operation Bodie/Mommy Breakup."

So, on Wednesday nights, Sierra gets "date night" with either Dusk or I - we alternate weeks. And whoever doesn't go on the date with her gets stuck with gets to spend the evening with Bodie. We've only done it 3 weeks so far, but it's really been fun. It's so great for Sierra to get some really good one-on-one time with each of us - and it's great for Bodie to learn to be ok with daddy doing things as well. It's a process, but truthfully, we need to set some more ground rules so that Bodie doesn't completely rule the house. I mean, he's a cute kid, but we really need to bring a more balanced parenting approach back to the home, where Sierra gets to be the focus as well.

Last week for our date, Sierra and I went and got pedicures and then ate at HomeTown Buffet. Fantastic, I thought! I love HomeTown Buffet and hadn't eaten there in probably 10 years, since Dusk won't touch it with a 10 foot pole! My observations on Sierra's and my first date night:
  1. HomeTown Buffet is gross. I mean, really disgusting. How did I remember it being so good? Apparently, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The people at the table next to me were talking about how "amazing" the food was - I kept trying to sneak a glance at the food they had, thinking perhaps there was a secret stash of "amazing" food somewhere I hadn't seen.
  2. Sadly, Sierra LOVED HomeTown Buffet and has asked almost every day to go there soon. Uh...this might have been one of those ideas that backfired on me! 
  3. The time we spent together was absolutely priceless. I LOVED being able to focus on her alone. We talked, we played MASH, we laughed and just focused on her.
  4. I cannot wait for our next date night!!! Rumor has it that Beauty and the Beast is out on 3D, so that's on our agenda!



  1. What a great idea! And one day, Bodie's wife will thank you for teaching him he's not always the center of the universe. ;)
    Glad you girls had a good time. :)

  2. God for y'all for tackling such a big problem! You commented on Joanne's FB about worrying about how all parents worry about messing up their child for FOREVER. I don't want to panic you, but...

    Bodie is the one who stands to be messed up forever SPIRITUALLY. Selfishness and the pride it comes from are hard dragons to beat. It's not just your relationship with Sierra or Bodie's relationship with you, but Bodie's relationship with God that's being threatened. This might be kinda hard to explain to someone as young as Bodie, but I bet he could understand and memorize the Golden Rule.