Saturday, February 19, 2011

Too much bitter...not enough sweet

Today was such a bittersweet day. So sweet, as we celebrated the miracle of Bodie's first birthday, surrounded by friends and family (pictures of that tomorrow, I promise). But far too bitter, as we learned just hours before Bodie's party that our sweet friend Travis was taken home to Jesus. My heart has just been aching all day. I have to be honest. There's a lot of loss in the heart community. It's a hard place to be a member. So many of the losses are hard because they remind you of the fragility of your own child and you walk away thinking "that could be my child." And you go hug your heart child a little tighter and thank Jesus a little more than usual.

But some losses are just harder to process. This time, I'm not grieving because it makes the fragility of Bodie's condition all the more real. I'm grieving, aching so deeply, because it was Travis. Sweet, cheeky, beautiful Travis. And it's his incredible mom Nicole. And his amazing father Roger. It doesn't seem possible. Less than a week ago, he was all smiles and energy. Bodie and Travis have played together. His smile lit up the room. We often talk about Bodie's silly personality, but Travis took the cake. Absolute light and sweetness emanated from that child. His laughter was so sweet. When we saw them in December, he had gotten a BBQ set for Christmas, and was wearing his little apron and chef hat and pretending to flip burgers. Beyond adorable. My heart is broken for this loss. Just truly broken. Please, please pray for Nicole, Roger and Travis's sweet little 2 month old sister Addison. Pray for comfort for them as they process a loss no family should ever have to process.

Fly high into the arms of Jesus, sweet Travis.



  1. Travis is so beautiful. I am absolutely devastated. It does make it that much harder when you've been a part of his life and have seen how happy and wonderful he was. I am so sad because I just walked in those very shoes and I don't wish that upon my worst enemy. You think just a week ago he was happy and playing and laughing and now he's gone. I look at the pics of him and his little sitter and my heart sinks. I am truly struggling to understand why.

  2. I haven't been following Travis' journey, but when I found out that he passed, I cried. It makes me relive those awful moments all over again. there have been many MANY times that I have thought about walking away from the heart community all together. Not because I don't like the mothers and fathers or love the children deeply- but because the constant losses are too much for my heart to handle. It absolutely breaks my heart.

    I am so SO sorry for Travis' family. I'm sorry that you have had to experience the grief that goes along with losing another heart baby.

    Much love to you and your family, and much love and many prayers to Travis' family.

  3. Even though I never got a chance to meet Travis, I have been following Nicole and Roger since the beginning. My heart is broken and it does for any loss in the heart community.

    Many prayers are being sent to the DiCarlo's as they lay their sweet little boy to rest.

  4. Very touching.... My eyes are filled with tears as I read this and as I just learned about Travis. Every part of my body is crying now over the unfairness of it all.. I have to turn to God now and trust in Him, because all of this is just overwhelming. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is for Roger and Nicole and ALL of their family.
    Travis is an ANGEL in Heaven now..