Friday, February 15, 2013

The moments you dream of...

When you are told, at 17 weeks pregnant, that you child will face multiple massive open-heart surgeries, may very likely have cognitive delays and that the first year will be a roller coaster, you look only at the moment you live in. You don't look ahead to more than that moment. You focus. You pray. You breathe. Because, really, looking any further out is too painful. 

When Bodie was diagnosed, when he was born, and for probably the first year or so of his life, I didn't look ahead. I didn't have a baby shower for him before he arrived, and once he arrived, I didn't buy clothes bigger than the size he was currently in, I didn't say "when he is" or "when he does" this or that; it was always "if." I am an optimistic person by nature and always knew I'd fight for my son and always hoped he'd be one of the ones who did well. But I never imagined him growing up, going to school, having a future. I didn't intentionally think it wouldn't happen - I just didn't go there. I never dared to dream of a future. 

I never dared to hope for a day like today. 

What blessings. Praise God for this day.