One week from today, we will be handing our baby boy over for his 4th open-heart surgery. God willing, at this time next week, we will be breathing a sigh of relief, moving from anticipation into recovery.
For some reason, crossing the one week out mark changes things. It feels so much more real now, so much closer to crunch time.
It would be so easy...
So easy to choose fear.
So easy to allow the anxiety to creep in, to take over. As I told Dusk today, I'm pretty sure my anxiety is so far off the charts it's found its way to someone else's chart!
So easy to fixate on everything that can go wrong, and that list, as any heart mom will tell you, is a mighty long one, my friends.
So easy to forget how far our miracle boy has come.
Just...so easy to dwell on the sadness and the fears...
But this week, instead, I will choose better...
I choose PEACE, the peace that surpasses all understanding.
I choose FAITH that my God, who knows the number of beautiful blonde hairs on my son's head and provides for the tiniest of sparrows, will meet my son's every need in that OR.
I choose TO STAND FIRM in the promises of my God, that He will sit beside Dusk and I in that waiting room, and will calm our anxious hearts.
I choose to CAST MY CARES at His feet and ask him to take my worries from me.
I choose JOY, to follow my son's lead and enjoy every minute we have together, living life to the fullest, praising God and thanking Him for his provision for our son for the past 4 years.
This week, I choose better.
It's been a long time since we've had to do this, this trusting in God for the absolutely unthinkable (it's been almost 3 years since Bodie's last surgery). We're a little out of practice. Please be in prayer for our family this week, that Dusk and I can stay in the space of choosing peace and not fear.