Wednesday, August 31, 2016


A few weeks ago at dinner, I mentioned to the kids that "mommy and daddy never should have gotten married." 

When I saw the looks on their faces, I had to immediately backtrack and explain what I meant.

We are SO happy we got married!

We are so different.
So, so, SO different.
I am the optimist to his pessimist.

My glass is always always ALWAYS half full, even if there's only a drop of water in it. He is so busy pointing out the flaws in the workmanship of the glass that he never gets to the question of whether it is half empty or half full.

His feet are planted firmly on the ground (ok, maybe even a few inches under the ground), while my head is in the air.

He moves slowly and deliberately. I have permanent bruises on my shoulders from walking too fast and cutting corners too close, hitting my shoulders on the wall. For the first few years of our marriage, he would repeat the mantra to me "Slower, more calculated movements." To which, I would replay "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR SLOWER, MORE CALCULATED MOVEMENTS!!!" He finally gave up.  True story.

I sometimes think God put us together just so I would have someone to fix all the stuff I break.

When we went to premarital counseling, after our personality tests, the pastor said "Well, the bad news is, you two are different. VERY VERY different. The good news is, you two are very VERY aware of how different you are."

Yeah, on paper, the two of us never should have gotten married. A lot of people never thought we'd work. Just too different, I guess.
But we were crazy in love - and we were sure it was a God ordained thing.

And you know what's cool? We make a pretty good team. 
If we were both like me, we'd be so busy focused on how great everything was, we'd never bother to change anything to make it any better. And if we were both like Dusk, we'd be so focused on how everything needed to be fixed, we'd be so miserable no one would want to hang out with us. I think God knew we needed each other.

13 years later, looks like He was right. 
It hasn't been easy, and has required lot of work on our part, and lots of help from pastors and therapists along the way.

But who would have thought? 
Who would have thought such total opposites would make it through the "good" parts of marriage, let alone the excessive amounts of bad we've been hit with? 7 miscarriages, 8 heart surgeries, 2 hip replacements, a burglary, a house fire, and lots of other "fun" stuff along the way? 
Probably not a lot of people.

And they'd have been right.
Except that, at the center of all of our differences is the most important similarity.
The one thing that holds it all together is our shared faith in His truths and His love. And our unwavering joint commitment to trusting Him and following Him.

Thank God, 13 years ago, we decided to prove some people wrong. 
Because if we hadn't, we wouldn't have this amazing little tightknit family. 
And we wouldn't have it any other way.

I know 13 years doesn't seem like much. I mean, my parents have been married almost 50 years, which, I think we can all agree, is a LONG time to be married to the same person! But, the way I look at it, we get credit for time served in the bad parts, so it's really more than 13 years! Am I right???
Here's to 13 years. Celebrating the right way. With dinner at Shakey's. 
In our defense (yeah, I know, there's really no defense for it, but i have to try), the kids have gift certificates for Shakey's that expire today, so we have to use them!. And, at this point, we're celebrating by not being in the hospital!  

Here's to 13 years of us getting better and stronger together. Either that, or now being a bratty teenager who knows it all. I guess it depends on who you ask, Dusk or me. :-) 

1 comment:

  1. Happy Anniversary, You two! Here's to many more!
    Love, Jeni