Happy Birthday to our Warrior

Our sweet Bodie,

It seems unreal to be wishing you a Happy 2nd Birthday. This has been such a remarkable year. This is the year you defied the odds and did all the things we didn't even dare to dream we'd get to see you do when we first got your diagnosis. This year, you learned to walk and to talk, and to climb and to jump. You moved from a bottle to a sippy cup and from formula to solids to real food. Your energy for life is contagious. The way you squeal when you see trash trucks, Mickey Mouse, Elmo, Home Depot or anything remotely related to Veggie Tales is beyond adorable. Yes, you're a handful, but we know your fiery determination is the reason you're still with us today - so we wouldn't have it any other way.

We are so proud of you, of the fighter that you are. Quite simply, you are the strongest little boy we know and we feel so blessed to be your parents. Our hearts are heavy when we think of what this next year may bring surgery-wise, but for today, just for today, on your special day, we don't think about that. We rejoice in how far you have come, from this...

 to this

 to this...

Oh how we love you, our sweet baby boy. Happy Birthday to our little Miracle.

Here's just a little something from us to you. (Make sure to pause the regular blog music to hear the music on the slideshow!)

(If you have any difficulty opening the video, you can see it here!

Happy Hearts Day!

Happy Valentine's Day from the Bennetts!!! Bodie was discharged yesterday morning! Praise God!!! We decided to celebrate with a 2-year well check and Synagis shots (sorry, big guy). The good news is that the little man is growing well - 27lb5oz (41%) and 35 1/2in (80%)! Definitely long and lean!

Hope your Valentine's Day is wonderful!!!

Musings on an inpatient hospital stay with a toddler

Our nurse today said that toddlers are the terrorists of the hospital - they want what they want, they're not afraid to make demands, they take no hostages and they absolutely will not be reasoned with, but because they're cute, they keep letting them in. ;-) And to that I say "amen, sista." But more on that in a sec.

First up, an update on this little guy.

He definitely had an interesting day. After his 2nd dose of Amiodarone spit all over me and everyone in a 10 mile vicinity (and this stuff is GROSS - I mean, like the baby wipes don't even touch it kind of sticky) yesterday, I turned to our nurse and said "enough. Find another way to get this med in. Call the pharmacy please and see if we can get it in a tablet form that we can crush and mix with his other meds." Because this med is gross and of epic proportions (for you med junkies out there, it was a 12ml dose - yes, you read that right. It was the equivalent of 1 1/2 times all of his current meds added together. I don't think he'd have taken that much of a med that tasted like Hershey syrup, but it definitely wasn't happening with something that, in addition to being astronomically large, tasted disgusting apparently. Just wasn't happening.

After a little sweet talking (with the pharmacy to agree that we could cut the 100mg dose in 1/2 safely and the cardiologist/EP to agree that we could drop the dose from 60mg to 50mg for an even dose), we were on our way. So, he finally got his first dose entirely in yesterday afternoon at about 5pm. At the same time, he came off of his Propranolol, the beta blocker he's been on since August. We figured the real test wouldn't be whether he had problems coming of Propranolol, since it clearly wasn't working - the issue would be coming onto the Amiodarone. As Dusk said "yeah, it'll be like coming off sugar water."

Well, sadly for us, that's not exactly how it went down. At about 8am this morning, as Bodie was hugging his night nurse goodbye (she was AMAZING), his heart rate shot up, out of nowhere, from his baseline 80-90 to 210...and proceeded to sit over 200 for the better part of the day. Awesome. Truthfully, I hadn't seen it that high since he had his first EAT episode last August, when they decided to put him on Propranolol. 

Although it was pretty unsettling for us (and VERY nerve-wracking for his nurses), Bodie didn't seem particularly upset by it, nor were the cardiologists. They kinda figured it's what we'd expect to happen since the Propranolol is now out of his system, but the Amiodarone, with a MUCH longer half-life, hasn't built up yet. So, they really have 2 theories - (i) the Amiodarone just needs time to build up (it takes a good 2-3 weeks to get fully loaded with it) and that's why he had the episode today, or (ii) he just might be a kid who needs both Propranolol and Amiodarone. In the interest of not keeping us in the hospital 2-3 weeks to figure out which theory pans out, they opted for #2 and restarted his Propranolol on a lower dose. Within 30 minutes of receiving the Propranolol, he dropped out of EAT and has stayed in normal sinus rhythm since. Looks like it was a good call by the cards. :-)

So we're not sure where that leaves us at the moment in terms of discharge. Hopefully Bodie can behave himself and we can be convinced the combo of the drugs is working and we can be home within the next few days. But you never know with Bodie. If you could please pray that the EAT episodes get under control so we can go HOME, I'd really appreciate it!

And speaking of Bodie behaving himself, I have to say that being in the hospital with a toddler is a bit mind-numbing. A few observations I'd love to share with you on being inpatient with a toddler:

1. A toddler's attention span lasts approximately 15 seconds. When you're at home and he has a multitude of toys to play with, it's not that noticeable. But then you're locked in a small room with a limited number of toys, it becomes readily apparent.

2. One would think there would be upper limit on the number of times a Veggie Tales song could be played in a 24-hour period, but if one was talking about "The Water Buffalo Song," one would be sadly mistaken.

3. Toddler rules of "if I see it or have ever thought about seeing it, it's mine" still apply, even in a hospital setting - even if said item is another child's wagon currently housing said child's blankets and oxygen tank.

4. What constitutes "dinner" is directly proportional to how badly you want your toddler to eat. When your child has been in EAT and not eaten anything all day, 2 chocolate hearts, a handful of nuts and a sip of apple juice definitely constitutes a meal.

5. It is best not to tell your toddler any rules of the hospital, for as soon as a toddler hears of the rules, he will want to break them as soon as possible. Case in point: the ONLY time we are supposed to stay in our room is 7-7:30am and 7-7:30pm to ensure patient confidentiality during shift change. So, of course, Bodie deemed that THE perfect time to run out in the hallway in front of the charge nurse's station in nothing but a shirt, diaper and socks, yell "dance! Dance!" and start dancing in a circle as fast as he could.

6. The playroom is never open when you need it (who needs a playroom to be open on a Sunday? What do you mean, kids get antsy on Sunday, too? Phsh) - and the playroom coordinator, when asked if you can borrow puzzles for your 23 month old boy, will most certainly drop off puzzles of this variety, with many, many interlocking pieces with no discernible way of knowing what pieces go where.

For real? It took ME 20 minutes to do the darn things!

All jokes aside, it is tough to be here with a VERY mobile and VERY energetic toddler. It is hard to keep up with him when he just wants to constantly explore his environment and gets bored very easily. But the reality is that we knew when we decided to give our son life that we were buying into a life that would necessarily entail hospital visits at one point or another. And hospital visits are never fun. But I can say, honestly, this hospital is amazing. They have done so much to make it accommodating to families (even our night nurses only do vitals at 8 or 9pm and then not again until morning - as long as your child is stable enough for that!). And having all private rooms means that you're not getting woken up for either your own child's vitals - or your neighbor's! It is SO quiet in here. I mean, our door was not opened once between 10pm last night (when I went out to ask for Bodie's nighttime meds) and 6am this morning (when I went out to get coffee). Our room was SILENT - even though we are literally right across from the Nurse's station! It never ceases to astound me how well they've thought this hospital out (well, except for the whole placement of the code blue button!). And, if we're stuck in the hospital, I'll take it with a feisty, determined little boy any day. Praise God that he has the energy to run away from me as quickly as he does!!!

Please keep Bodie in your prayers, that we have no more runs of EAT, that we're home soon and that he has no side effects from any of these drugs Thank you prayer warriors!!!   

Hope for Inpatient Hearts

So, remember my last post where I mentioned Bodie was getting a med change up to deal with his EAT and that med change would require a hospital admission that we were trying to schedule for the last week of the month? Well, Bodie heard that and decided he had other plans. When he had this 3rd tachycardic episode this week as we were taking Sierra to school this morning, we knew something had to be done. So off to CHLA to be admitted we went.

Because the decision to admit was made so last minute, we weren't able to be directly admitted to the floor and had to go through the ER - never fun. But our awesome cardiologist called ahead so they had a bed ready for us when we were done with the ER admission (I didn't realize what a big deal that was until we got there and I mentioned we were going to CV Acute. The nurse looked at me and laughed, saying "oh, honey, there's no way you're getting a bed on CV Acute - they are all full. Sorry." 10 minutes later she came back and said "Oh, I didn't realize that your cardiologist called ahead. They're getting a bed ready for you right now!" Just one more reason we love our cardiologist!!! And to CHLA's credit, as much as going to the ER sucks, we were immediately triaged and into a private ER room within less than 10 minutes, thankfully. They take their cardiac kids seriously here, which I really appreciate.

He zonked out once we got there.

He, of course, was out of EAT by the time we got there (his episodes typically only last 2-3 hours, so we weren't surprised). But once he woke up from his nap, all it took to throw him back into EAT was a bad attempt at an IV placement. :-( His heart rate shot right up to the 190's and stayed in the 180's after that. Poor baby. I told them there would be no more iv attempts unless they were done by an IV nurse. They were really cool about honoring my request and said they'd just do it on the floor. 

Once we got to the floor, Bodie was all smiles, checking everything out and saying hi to some of our favorite nurses. All was well and dandy until I'm sitting on the fold out bed, kind of getting everything situated and he walks over to the other side of the crib. I'm not paying too much attention until I hear an alarm sounding. I saunter over there, thinking he had pressed the call button for the nurse or something like that. It's only when I look up to see doctors and nurses literally sprinting toward our room that I look over at Bodie to realize that he has depressed the code blue button!!! Yes, he really did. I'd like to thank the genius designer of this room who decided to put the code blue button at toddler level...

After the whole code blue fiasco, we got settled in, had dinner and walked the halls for a bit. Here he is goofing off after bath tonight (I LOVE the private rooms, where I can give him a bath!) - I kept telling him NOT to lick the bars (I mean, disgusting, right?) and he was totally pretending to do it here...

They finally got a good IV in tonight, and oddly enough, Bodie was so upset that he kicked himself back out of EAT. Go figure. ;-) After that experience, he's now snoozing peacefully.

They just took vitals at 9pm and told me they would schedule his morning vitals around 5-6am, if I wanted. LOVE how flexible they are being here!!!

So here we are, at least 2 days, if all goes well. The have to monitor Bodie very carefully to make sure his body tolerates the new drug. So far he seems to be doing ok with the first dose. The med they put him on, Amiodarone, is a serious med. It has VERY serious side effects, mostly major compromises to the lungs, liver and thyroid, not to mention photo sensitivity. Bodie kinda seems like the poster child for who you DON'T want on this med - he has lung issues already, I have a thyroid issue, with Fontan kids you always have to worry about the liver anyway - oh, and he's a flipping Toehead. Fantastic. BUT, it's sort of our best option. The other med they were considering is Flecainaide, which isn't that great for single ventricle kids, can cause decreased heart function and a slightly greater risk of serious arrythmias.  So there you have it. With cardiac kids, you often are making the choice between the lesser of 2 evils, because there are so many non-negotiables when it comes to their care. The reality is that Bodie needs a med that will get this tachycardia in check. Amiodarone seems to be our best option at the moment.

BUT WE ARE SCARED. Frankly, the possible side effects scare the living daylights out of us. The doctors tell us the side effects we're most worried about (lungs/liver) are actually quite rare in kids receiving the smaller dosages like what Bodie will be getting (and they did baseline bloodword today - general cbc plus liver and thyroid tests). But, of course, if your child falls in the minority, it is of little comfort that he "shouldn't have" had a problem with the med. SO, please, please, please, we implore all of our faithful blog followers to intercede on Bodie's behalf, and ask God to protect Bodie from the side-effects of this drug. Please pray that Bodie will tolerate the new drug, his EAT will stop and he'll be able to come off the drug soon (it's not really a long-term drug - Bodie's Electrophysiologist anticipates that he will be on it no longer than 6 months). So please keep him in your prayers.

And, while you're at it, if you could ask for an uneventful hospital stay so that we can be home in time for Bodie's birthday next week, that'd be great as well!

BIG Plans for CHD Awareness Week

Today marks the first day of CHD Awareness Week (February 7-14), the week where the focus is on our special CHD babies. I had BIG plans for what to put on my blog. Well, to be honest, I had plans to make plans to do something big. But I never got past the plans to make plans. Ugh. Honestly, life is just a little crazy right now. I'm in one of those seasons where I find myself saying on a regular basis "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." I'm swimming in half done projects. I'm overcomitted and overscheduled and overwhelmed at the moment. So, I'm scrapping the big plans. I will have a special post about HOPE for our CHD babies one day this week. Or at least I plan to. :-) So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, I do want to share this. The picture is graphic, so be prepared (just skip over it if you have a weak stomach for medical stuff!). And I've never shown the picture on the left on the blog before. Yes, Bodie has his chest open in the picture. As is typical, he came back from the Norwood surgery with his chest open, covered in some sort of sterile saran-wrap style covering in order to allow swelling of the chest cavity. It is impossible to explain what it is like as a parent, to literally look down and see your child's heart beating in his chest cavity. I know it's heavy, but what we as heart parents go through needs to be shown. I don't want to sugar coat it. It's easy to look at Bodie now and think he's just like any other kid and sort of forget everything he's been through. Or to talk about what he went through casually, like it happened to some other kid.

But he did live through it. He has lived through 3 open  heart surgeries, 2 cardiac catheterizations, a bout with C-Diff and Paraflu at the same time, and medically resistant staph in his bloodstream. He has coded twice, requiring chest compressions one of those times. We have been told to call family before, because the doctors truly had no idea whether Bodie would make it through the night. By the grace of God, he is doing well now, yes - and we could not possibly be more grateful for that. But let's never forget how valiantly our little hero has fought to be here, doing well now. So, we're celebrating CHD Awareness week by posting this picture, and spreading awareness everywhere for CHD's. Showing what these little guys have to go through. And just how far they can come. Our son is a walking, living, breathing miracle and a testament to God's saving grace.

In addition, we're celebrating CHD Awareness Week (and Heart month) Bennett style, with at least 2 planned cardiac hospital admissions before the month is out. Yep, you read that right. ICK.

First up, Daddy. You may remember here, when I blogged last August about Dusk failing a stress test and he and Bodie having holter monitors at the same time. Well, Dusk's cardiologist ultimately recommended an ICD (a defibrillator/pacemaker). After a second opinion at USC (he's currently treated at UCLA) that was basically the same, we finally scheduled the surgery. So he's scheduled for Tuesday, February 21st. It should be a quick admission, in Tuesday and out Wednesday, but you never know. Thankfully, Popo Alan and Grandma Jan are coming out for Bodie's birthday party the weekend before and graciously rescheduled their return flight home to stay a few extra days and watch the kids for us the day of Dusk's surgery. THANK YOU!

Next up, Bodie. In the same blog entry I linked to above, I talked about Bodie's EAT (tachycardia, where his resting heart jumps from his usual 80-90 beats per minute to 150-170 beats per minute). We've been battling frequent EAT episodes since last August (thanks to the awesome full body rash/rever/pinkeye/ear infection combo that I'm still convinced he caught from the pigs at the Mid State Fair - to be clear, I'm not exactly blaming the pigs, though I do think that's where he caught it - truly, it's not their fault that Bodie was practically laying on top of them). My theory is that whatever he caught in August triggered a dormant EAT node of some sort. Anyway, we've been continually increasing his beta blocker, Propranolol, to hopefully reduce the episodes. Although it has helped in terms of duration of each episode (they're now 2-3 hours, instead of 36-48), the frequency has really been all over the place. He had 6 episodes in January alone. :-( Finally, we decided enough is enough and his card put a call into his Electrophysiologist and they put their heads together to come up with a different game plan. Although the EAT doesn't necessarily present any imminent danger to Bodie, long-term it doesn't do his heart any good, that's for sure. And the name of the game for us is maintaing his left ventricular function as long as possible. So, something needed to be done.

The solution? Try a different med. YAY! So excited to discover there is something else we can try that might work better for him. The downside (and it's a big one)? 3 days in the hospital during cold, flu and RSV season. ICK. It's pretty scary thinking about having a cardiac kid in the hospital this time of year, but truly, we can't put this off any longer. We don't have it scheduled yet, but we're trying to schedule it for the week after Dusk's surgery. We'll certainly update when we do have dates.

You know the Bennetts like to go big, and CHD Awareness Week and Heart Month are no exception, apparently. What better way to raise awareness about cardiac defects than by an inpatient hospital stay? You can't say our family isn't doing our part to raise awareness! Sigh...you gotta do what you gotta do. We do covet your prayers as we approach the next few weeks, for a smooth surgery for Dusk and an eventfree hospital stay and a drug that works for Bodie. (And if any of you are near CHLA and want to come visit Bodie and I while we're there, we'd welcome a visit - since CHLA won't let visitors in under the age of 18 at the moment (siblings included - boo), I imagine we'll be bored out of our minds. :-)

And speaking of Bodie, have I mentioned that he's almost 2? He apparently missed the "almost" part of that, because the terrible 2's have definitely started. Think I'm exaggerating? I assure you not. Here's just a sampling of what I've been treated to in the past week:

No Way Jose

(Bodie rummaging around in my closet.).

Me: Bodie, get out of my closet please.

Bodie: NO.

Me: Get out of my closet NOW.

Bodie: No way Jose!!!

Me: Did you just say what I thought you said?!? Did you just say "No Way Jose?" (I had never heard him say this before)

Bodie: Yea

Me: You do NOT say "No Way Jose" to your mother!

Bodie: (pauses a minute and then looks up at me, all fiery determination) "NO WAY JOSE, MOMMY DADDY!!!"

Bodie Do

Bodie had a head-down on the floor, screaming fit for 2 minutes yesterday because he wanted to take his socks off all by himself ("Bodie Do! Bodie Do!") but yet is not physically able to take said socks off himself. This scenario is repeated approximately 9,999,999 times a day, with socks, pants, shorts, shoes and sweatshirt. Fun times.

Potty Time

Bodie started potty training himself last week, totally out of the blue. Utter craziness. Today, sitting on the potty...

Me: (noticing he had been sitting for awhile and the bowl was still empty) Bodie, where's the pee pee?"

Bodie: I dunno (yes, seriously, his newest phrase is "I dunno" - I thought I had a good 11 years before hearing that one)...walking?

Me: Your pee pee went for a walk?

Bodie: Yes.

Me: Where?

Bodie: I dunno (thinks about it for a minute)...shopping!!!

Home Depot

This kid is OBSESSED with Home Depot. Doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing, if you ask him what he wants to do  next, the answer is ALWAYS "Home Depot!" And he literally jumps out of the carseat every time we drive past our Home Depot (on the way to therapy and TWISP, so we literally drive by it 8 times a week), screaming "HOME DEPOT!!! MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! HOME DEPOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

Does this one really need any explanation? I hear this 100 times a day. Basically, anything that he sees, thinks about seeing, has ever seen (or even imagined seeing) or wants to see at some point is HIS. Doesn't matter whether it's my car keys (which, sadly, he has just discovered, can make the horn go crazy at the press of a button), my water bottle, Sierra's dolly or Dusk's golf balls. Fun times.

WHAT?

Anytime I call his name, his first response is always "WHAAAAAAAAT?" The attitude dripping off of it is really quite indescribable. :-)

Life with a 2 year old - ain't it grand? That's ok - as long as he keeps giving me hugs, kisses and snuggles, I'll take all of the abuse any day. Love our little warrior! Oh, and Happy CHD Awareness Week!

Project 52.6. Relief...and Kindergarten Roundup

After a lot of thought and prayerful consideration, we're really excited about the school we've chosen for Sierra for next year. We weighed a lot of options (including homeschooling, hybrid homeschooling options and several parochial schools in our area) and this school just seems to be the right fit for Sierra, and for our family. It's a really small, very conservative Christian school, a place where we think Sierra will get a quality education steeped in the strong Biblical worldview we're looking for. As you can see, Sierra is thrilled as well (pics taken right after her assessment). I think I might be thrilled to go to school with this kind of scenery as well!

Oh, and it's a uniform school. I don't know whether to be sad or relieved to see these kinds of outfits go by the wayside...

We're so proud of our sweet girl and so excited for the changes ahead for her as she starts her formative school years.

Project 52.5. Flexible...and sunny days

Seriously, my kids were NOT good nappers from the start. Both of them, for the first year, specialized in the super short nap. Although Sierra was more generous than Bodie and would often nap for a full 45 minutes, Bodie seriously would do 20-25 minute naps. And yes, his last nap before I gave up and said "that's it! We're sleep training!" was 12 minutes. Say wha?!? Fun times, right? But after sleep training and getting a little older, they both developed much more flexible sleep habits, thank goodness! By about 18 months, they had both dropped down to 1 nap and it was at least 90 minutes. And within a month or 2 after that, we stopped having to be so rigid with when we put them down. It is SO freeing now to know that Bodie will go down, really, anytime between 12:30 and 3 or so - and he'll sleep at least 90 minutes. And Sierra still naps (I know, I know - we're super lucky!) and, best of all, they nap at the same time! Praise God!!!

So today, after we got home from church and had lunch and I realized it was waaaaaaaaaaaaay too beautiful outside (80+ degrees!) to make them go down for naps already, we decided to do water play. I pulled out pots and pans, measuring cups and Sierra grabbed the bath toys. They had a blast. And when I put them down at 2:30, Bodie was out before his head hit the crib. ;-) A few more pics from the fun (and, yes, this is January weather - suddenly, living in LA doesn't seem so bad after all!)... 

Project 52.4. Sticky...and some Mustang love

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This weekend, I took the kids up to see my parents. We have a semi-annual tradition of taking the kids up for a Cal Poly game (football in the Fall, basketball in the Spring). The kids had a BLAST, as they always do.

Bodie discovered a superhuman love for Musty, the Cal Poly mascot (a mustang horse). I mean, he could.not.get.enough of him. Kept running up to him to hug him and then would run back to me and then run back to Musty 5 seconds later. At one point, he ran straight into Musty's arms and just hugged him for at least 30 seconds straight. It was adorable.  Well, I mean, we thought it was adorable. Musty may or may not have been trying to make a hasty exit post-game just to get away from Bodie...

Sierra got her share of Mustang love as well, from the Cal Poly cheerleaders. She looked so cute in her Cal Poly cheerleading outfit and the cheerleaders were so sweet, stopping to talk to her. She was in 7th Heaven for sure!

(Isn't she SO cute?!?)

The kids did great all weekend, and probably the most wonderful part is how much Bodie warmed up to my parents. Although he sees them a lot, they sadly fall into the 99.999999% of the world's population known only to Bodie as "not mommy" and attempts to hold him or snuggle him are generally met with disdain and screaming like's on fire. He had started to warm up to my mom when she was in town in November and watched the kids for 2 days while I was at a seminar - but he never willingly went to her when I was in the room and therefore an option. But this weekend, not only did he let my mom hold him, he even let her read him books...

and even let my dad read books...

...if you don't think this is a big deal, trust me, it is. To put it in perspective, the last time he was willing to sit in my dad's lap without screaming like he was on fire, he looked like this...

(October 2010 - 9 months old!)

And he let my dad hold him on the way to Burnardoz (the world's BEST ice cream in the whole world, by the way - it opened up the summer I was born and has always been one of my most favorite places - and also where the pic in this week's Project 52 came from)...

And finally, I just had to include this pic of Bodie - this kids eyelashes and lips are to.die.for. God sure knew what he was doing when he made Bodie - he had to make him extra cute so we'd put up with his extra feistiness! But I tell ya, we're gonna be in trouble with this one... 

Broken heart Bodie

So I walked into the bathroom this evening to discover that one of my children had written in chalk all over the scale. Since only one of my children likes to write on everything except what he is supposed to, my money was on Bodie. Dusk took the scale to Bodie and the following conversation ensued...

Dusk (very sternly), pointing at the scale: "Bodie, did you do this?"

Bodie: nods his head

Dusk: "Noooooo, Bodie - that's NAUGHTY! We don't write on scales!!!!"

Bodie: (melodramatically patting his chest) "Broken...heart...Bodie!!!"

Seriously, this kid is too much for me. Apparently, at 23 months old, he thinks it's an excuse to get out of discipline. Fantastic.

Can't make this stuff up folks. :-)

Bodie with his masterpiece...

Project 52.3. Genetic

Operation Breakup

So, I may have mentioned once, or twice, or, I don't know, 800 times, on this blog that Bodie is a tad clingy. Think I'm exaggerating? I most assuredly am not. Example:

1. When we have family prayer time at night, Bodie HAS to be right next to me - Dusk and I joke that, if he could, Bodie would crawl back inside just to make sure no one else could be closer to me. I think it sorta falls in the "if I can't have her, no one can" mentality.
2. He pantses me at least once a day because I won't pick him up in a timely manner - typically when my hands are otherwise occupied making dinner and he wants to be held RIGHT THEN. I mean, we're talking, he pulls my pants all the way down to my ankles.
3. If you ask him what he wants for breakfast, or lunch, or dinner - or what toy he wants to play with, his answer is almost always "mama."
4. If I lock the door to the bathroom while taking a shower, thereby preventing him from coming in to check on me (and let the cold air in) approximately every 30 seconds or so during my shower, he loses it. Full on screaming meltdown outside the bathroom door - even if daddy is home and trying to play with him. Apparently the fact that I have never gone into the bathroom and not come out hasn't persuaded him that there's not some sort of secret exit out the other side.

Dusk calls it an issue of codependence. Sadly, I have to agree. The irony is that I was worried that the fact that I didn't hold him for the first week of his life might inhibit his ability to bond with me somehow. Fat chance.

As funny as all of this sounds, it's actually pretty frustrating. Although we have made GREAT progress in him being able to tolerate babysitters and his therapists and not care so much when I'm not around, when it's just us at home, he really thinks he needs to be the center of my universe AT.ALL.TIMES. The problem is, HE'S NOT. I do have another child who I desperately want to spend time with and focus on - and who deserves that time. And while Dusk and I both get a good deal of time with both kids, neither of us get enough time to just focus on Sierra and let her be the absolute center of attention. Because Bodie is on the high-maintenance side (he's VERY fun, but when he's upset, forget about it - the whole world has to stop and solve his problem, even if that problem is trying to put a sock on or put all of his cars in his hands at once), it's hard to give Sierra that attention when he's around. So...daddy and I have come up with a plan, called "Sierra Mommy/Daddy Date Night" also known as "Operation Bodie/Mommy Breakup."

So, on Wednesday nights, Sierra gets "date night" with either Dusk or I - we alternate weeks. And whoever doesn't go on the date with her gets stuck with gets to spend the evening with Bodie. We've only done it 3 weeks so far, but it's really been fun. It's so great for Sierra to get some really good one-on-one time with each of us - and it's great for Bodie to learn to be ok with daddy doing things as well. It's a process, but truthfully, we need to set some more ground rules so that Bodie doesn't completely rule the house. I mean, he's a cute kid, but we really need to bring a more balanced parenting approach back to the home, where Sierra gets to be the focus as well.

Last week for our date, Sierra and I went and got pedicures and then ate at HomeTown Buffet. Fantastic, I thought! I love HomeTown Buffet and hadn't eaten there in probably 10 years, since Dusk won't touch it with a 10 foot pole! My observations on Sierra's and my first date night:

1. HomeTown Buffet is gross. I mean, really disgusting. How did I remember it being so good? Apparently, absence makes the heart grow fonder. The people at the table next to me were talking about how "amazing" the food was - I kept trying to sneak a glance at the food they had, thinking perhaps there was a secret stash of "amazing" food somewhere I hadn't seen.
2. Sadly, Sierra LOVED HomeTown Buffet and has asked almost every day to go there soon. Uh...this might have been one of those ideas that backfired on me! 
3. 
4. The time we spent together was absolutely priceless. I LOVED being able to focus on her alone. We talked, we played MASH, we laughed and just focused on her.
5. I cannot wait for our next date night!!! Rumor has it that Beauty and the Beast is out on 3D, so that's on our agenda!

From the Mouths of Babes

Every night, before bed, we have "Family Time," where the 4 of us sit, talk about our highs and lows of the day (Bodie hasn't quite got the hang of highs and lows yet - during this time, he typically just points to various body parts and shouts out their names) and then we pray. This past week, I was able to capture both kids saying their bedtime prayers. I never want to forget these sweet moments.

Bodie

(he typically bows his head and folds his hands, but for whatever reason (maybe because, uh, a video camera was shoved in his face), he decided not to this night)

Sierra

(if you don't "speak Sierra," she thanks Jesus for mommy, daddy and ladybugs, and then asks Him to make Bodie's nose stop running (amen, sista!), and help him not have any more Synergis shots (nasty shots Bodie has to get monthly during RSV season - he HATES them), for his surgeon (Dr. Starnes) and that his heart could feel better.

Project 52.2. Negotiable

Project 52:1. A blur

I'm so excited! I've decided to do a Project 52 this year. I've seen several in cyber-world (see the awesome one at Styleberry or the cutest kid ever (and also my future son-in-law, in case you're wondering) at for an example), and I thought it would be fun to participate and to have to look back on at the end of the year. The way a Project 52 works, you pick a theme and document it throughout the year, selecting a picture and a little note about it for each week. Then, you can turn it into a Coffee Table book at the end of the year. Cool, right? The theme I'm documenting this year is Motherhood.

My goal is to do one a week (hence, the "52" in the title). Here goes!